I hate to say it but this world can be incredibly negative at times. It's disheartening to see and hear how cruel and unreasonable people can be. However, as much as I despise it, it is going to happen. But just because people want to be negative and state their not so nice opinion, it doesn't mean that you have to listen to it or believe it. I have been at this point in my life countless times. I have let what people said to me get me down. I believed what they said. My thoughts turned to "I'm not good enough". "I'm not pretty enough, skinny enough, or tan enough." I thought I wasn't smart enough or funny enough. I have gotten torn down by numerous people; people I called my friend or even people I called family. This is not okay. It is hard enough to believe in yourself without all of the negative opinions. My friends like to describe being tough as having "thick skin" but when people "dog" on you constantly, sometimes it feels like your "thick skin" is just getting scraped right off. It is kind of gross to think about but that is just how I see it. I've been there, this feeling sucks! You just have to learn to not let it tear you down. So here are 5 of my tips that have helped me.
Number one.
Everyone has their own opinions. Everyone has different opinions. People see things in different ways. For example, it's kind of like the number 6. If the number is laying on the ground with one person on either side, one person will see a 6. The other person will see a 9. I'm sure we've all seen this but it really put things into perspective for me. One person may tear you down and say all of these negative things but another person may think you are beautiful, smart, kind, caring and so much more. Bottom line, don't let ONE person's opinion or words tear you down. Too many other people in this world think you are down right awesome.
Number two.
Understand that everyone has insecurities and some people aren't very good at dealing with them. They don't know how to believe in themselves and they feel that tearing down other people, pointing out their flaws and insecurities only makes them look better. Newsflash! It makes them look like an ass. Just remember that when someone is tearing you down, all they're trying to do is advert the attention away from their own flaws and insecurities.
Number three.
Know your worth. It doesn't matter who you are, you are worthy. Can you have bad days? Heck yeah! Everyone does. Even the person you think is just absolutely perfect, they have bad days. However, just because you have a bad day doesn't mean you are a bad person or whatever negative thought you are thinking. You are powerful. You are strong. You are worthy.
Number four.
Believe in yourself. Do people tell you that you won't be able to lose weight? Do they tell you that you aren't smart enough or that you'll never achieve that? Do they point out every single insecurity you already think about yourself? Well guess what! They are wrong. Nobody knows you better than yourself. If you want to lose weight, then bust your ass and do it! If you want to learn something new that may be a tad hard, devote yourself to learning as much as you can. Always remember, trial and error. That is all it takes. Stop believing these negative thoughts about yourself. Stop telling yourself that you aren't good enough. If you truly want something, whatever that may be, then get up and get it yourself, because YOU CAN!
Number five.
You should only care about what YOUR opinion is of yourself. If you don't like the person you are, then reflect on that and fix the aspects that you don't like. If you think you are a good person and you're just trying to love yourself and be happy then that is all that matters. Your opinion is the only opinion that matters when it comes to how you view yourself.
If you learn to truly believe in yourself and you know in your heart that you do your absolute best then it is so much easier to ignore the hateful and negative comments from other people. Don't ever give up on yourself because of someone else's opinion. Always strive to be the best version of yourself. Most importantly, love the person you are and believe in yourself!
I love the person I am today. I believe in me.
My mom was visiting me a while ago and she introduced me to this absolutely wonderful magazine called Bella Grace. It is full of different articles talking about life. This specific issue I read was issue 16. If I'm being honest, there was not one thing I did not enjoy about this magazine. I read every single word of it. Reading some of the articles really made me sit and think. In issue 16, they got a list together called "175 Tiny Things That Give Us Big Feelings." So, of course, I made my own list. I really had to sit and think, "What makes me truly happy and or gives me big feelings?"
For example:
Have you ever felt the pages of a book or a really well made magazine and you're just like "Oh my gosh, these pages feel so good!!"? Well for me, I had never exactly thought about that until I sat down and made my list. One of the things on that list is the way the Bella Grace pages feel. It is such a well made magazine and feeling the pages (as weird as that may sound) give me a sense of pure joy.
Something that I recently learned is the fact that you can make yourself happy. True happiness has to come from within yourself. One of my favorite quotes that I found while reading Bella Grace was "So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers" -Jorge Luis Borges. Can your partner put a smile on your face by bringing you flowers? Hell yeah! But don't rely on them to make you truly happy. This world is tough and you've got to take the time to make yourself smile. I'm not saying go take a long and expensive vacation in Bora Bora but think about what genuinely makes you smile, even the tiniest of things that put a smile on that gorgeous/handsome face of yours.
So often, we get caught up in the craziness of life. Whether that be working 40+ hours at a job we hate, taking care of 3 precious kids, trying our hardest to get fit, or even trying to juggle all of that at once. Sometimes, people feel like they don't get a chance to just breathe and be happy. The article I read in Bella Grace had some awesome things that made people happy. Some of them, I thought to myself, "Wow! I never thought about that, heck yeah that makes me happy!" When I took the time to really think about it, I actually learned some things about myself.
Here are some of the things on my list:
1. The ocean.
I mentioned this in my first blog and I'll mention it again. The ocean just puts my mind at ease. Maybe for you it's the mountains, the desert, an open field, or even just simply your home. Think about where you feel happiest and when you're feeling like you want to pull your hair out, go to your happy place in your head.
2. Having the windows open and the curtains wafting in the breeze.
Oh my gosh y'all! Having my windows open on a really nice day brings me an abundance of joy. Let alone having the windows open and the curtains catching that breeze; to me, that is SO relaxing.
3. Feeling water run through my fingers.
Can y'all tell I love the water? Seriously though, the world stops when I feel water run through my fingers.
4. The smell of fresh brewing coffee.
I have coffee almost every morning and when I smell that coffee brewing, it gets me excited for my day. For me, it's like "Okay, I can do this!"
5. Thunderstorms.
Being completely honest here.. I have literally squealed when I have heard that first clap of thunder right before a storm. Am I crazy? Maybe. Some people relate thunderstorms with negative things. I relate thunderstorms to a clean slate. I love the sound of rain. I love the smell of rain. I love the sound of thunder. To me, it's all just incredibly relaxing. To my husband and me, stormy weather is the perfect "cuddle and watch movies together" weather.
These are only 5 of the things that make me happy and have big feelings. Now, I ask you, what are some of the things that make YOU happy and give YOU big feelings? I would love to know! Feel free to leave a comment with a few things that make you smile.
What Would You Attempt To Do If You Knew You Could Not Fail?
Today, as I was balling my eyes out from the frustration of attempting to change my blinker lights, I decided to pull out this booklet of little reminders. My mom gave me this little booklet on my 19th birthday. For a while, I had forgotten about it; however, I recently pulled it out and today of all days, I looked through it. I came across this question asked by Dr. Robert Schuller; "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" I got to thinking about it. What would I do? I think the very first thing I would do is go surfing. Today has been one of those getting-nailed-at-dodge ball kind of days and one of the things that puts me at ease no matter what is the ocean. Even though I don't live near the ocean, I like to think about it, imagine it, and remember the smells and colors. The ocean puts my mind at ease. Surfing is something I have always dreamt of doing but was almost afraid to try it in fear of the obvious, failing. Also, sharks; however, not many people aren't afraid of sharks! If I had the opportunity to live by the ocean, on a hard day like today, I would go surf to try and bring myself back to a happy place.
Something else I would do is work on things like cars. Being a young woman comes with an abundance of judgment and "you can't do that, you're a girl." I strive to be as independent as possible; nevertheless, even the smallest things like changing blinker lights often get in the way of my independence. I would attempt to do the more "guy-ish" things in this world: working on cars, building furniture, become a bad ass shooter, even fly helicopters for the military. Even though some people may construe some of these things as manly, I personally think that no matter who you are, you can do whatever you set your mind to. Cliche, I know right? But it is true.
Here's the thing about that question:
There are millions of things people would attempt if they knew they could not fail. But unfortunately, failing is a part of life. Failing makes you stronger and better. In a dream world, I would become a surfer, a black ops pilot, a handy-man, and many other things. However, this is not a dream world. To become those things, or whatever it is that you want to be, you must work at it. You must try and fail and try and fail again. It takes courage to step out of your comfort zone and attempt something you wouldn't normally try. But trying new things and failing and trying again, it makes you into the person you are. When you try something over and over but fail, it sucks! But when you continue to try and you finally succeed at whatever it is you were attempting, it feels AMAZING. Don't let fear of failure stop you from attempting new things.
